Parashat Chayei Sara

Friday 6 November 2015                                                      Cheshvan  25  5776

Parashat Chayei Sara                                                                                                    Messianic Rabbi Isaac Rousell
Genesis 23:1-25:18; 1 Kings 1:1-31; Matthew 1:1-17Our parasha this week chronicles the search for a bride for Isaac. Avraham sends his servant Eliezer back to his homeland to find her. Eliezer sets up a test to find the right woman for his master’s son. He prays that a sign be given to him. The right woman will be the one who not only gives him something to drink but also offers to water his camels. It is essentially a test of kindness. It is one thing to offer a drink to someone, it is quite another to offer to water ten camels by hand! The young woman, Rivka, passes with flying colors. She not only offers to water the camels, but the Torah specifically points out that she waters them to their fill.

By giving a test of kindness, Eliezer was looking for someone like his master. Avraham was someone of supreme kindness. This is evidenced by his interaction with the three strangers (Gen. 18). The text tells us that he hurries to welcome them (despite being recently circumcised!). He hurries to get Sarah to prepare them food and hurries to select a calf for the meal. He is deferential to them, calling them masters and bowing to them. Avraham, out of kindness, willingly becomes a servant to them.

We see the same behaviour in Rivka. The text tells us that she hurries to give Avraham’s servant something to drink and hurries to water his camels. And she doesn’t just water the camels, but waters them until they are sated! She does this even though it requires great physical exertion. She hurries to inform her family of the visitor so that they may also show hospitality to them. She is also deferential to him and calls him “master.” Rivka, too, becomes a servant in a desire to be kind to this stranger.

Elated that his prayers have been answered, Eliezer gives her two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. Genesis Rabbah says that the two gold bracelets represent the two tablets of the Torah and their weight represents the Ten Commandments written on them. The essence of the Torah is kindness. This is captured by the commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  According to both Yeshua and our Sages, this is the summation of Torah.

Pirke Avot says that the world stands on three things: Torah (study), Avodah (prayer), and Gemilut Chasadim (acts of kindness). Kindness is one of the three pillars of the world! Indeed, our Sages assert that Torah and Avodah are often merely in service to Gemilut Chasadim. We study Torah in order to understand God’s ways and be better able to do acts of kindness. Prayer, which in itself can be an act of kindness, can also be a way for us to focus and soften our hearts in preparation for doing kind deeds.

May we all be more like Rivka; focused on kindness.

A key to being kind is self-awareness. Many times we are completely unaware that our words or actions harm others. We need to work at being sensitive to those around us. Things that wouldn’t impact us at all may have great negative effect on others. We need to be deliberate and intentional in striving every day to be aware of how we can be more kind. We need to pray that Hashem would open our eyes to the ways in which we act unkindly.

The greatest challenge is to be kind in the midst of unkindness. When we are treated ill, the yetzer ha-ra(evil impulse) takes over and our first inclination is to retaliate. This is not Hashem’s way. As our Master taught us, we are to bless those who curse us. A key to kind behavior is the old adage, “First, count to ten.” It is almost always disastrous to react in the heat of the moment. Give yourself time to calm down and to reflect. It is quite possible that the person who treated you unkindly didn’t even realize that they were doing it. The kind response is to gently discuss it with them. And even if they were being deliberately unkind, or are callous and don’t care, what will you accomplish by reacting harshly? You will only perpetuate the cycle of violence that is endemic to this broken world.  Let us take Yeshua’s words seriously when he says, “Bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you.”

We live in an unkind world. And I am not just talking about war, robbery or racism. It’s the little ways in which we are unkind to one another in daily life. May we become servants to those around us, seeking to serve them in kindness. May we bolster the Pillar of Kindness and thereby strengthen the world. May we, through our acts of kindness, bedeck ourselves with the two gold bracelets of Torah. May we follow in the footsteps of our mother Rivka, who was like our father Avraham, who reflected the kindness of Hashem!